The teacher decided to ask the class a riddle. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. how to get to quezon avenue mrt station Uncovering hot babes since 1919. , On Halloween, Little Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after doing his round and collecting many candies from trick or treating. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? He had a look of obvious relief on his young face. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Yes Johnny, he is The priest replied. "Little Johnny smiles.Teacher: "So what's so funny about it? Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Made us older cousins feel stupid - we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped. what is it?" she asked. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? No truer words have been said, Little Man! Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. 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Your account is not active. ", Teacher: "How far have you gone with your homework Johnny? Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. ", The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.Soon, Little Johnny lifts a hand that hes finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.But Johnny, you didnt paint anything on it? says the teacher.Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away., Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? Teacher: "What is an island? "Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Click here to view. "Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3, or across the middle leaves a 0! Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. That's what you do with a kidnapper. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. The teacher asked the class to come up with a three syllable word and use it in the sentence. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Youll see it later on the news, anyways.. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. the teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? His father is furious and says "Why not? She asked, No. ", Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?". Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. , Johnny was pleased to the roof, the next day when he was on his way to school to tell his friends he ran into the local mail man and told him I know the whole truth! What did his mother do? The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, An old man!, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. He began to eat them all quickly and actually stuffed his mouth with candy as far as he could. Dont we all, Little Johnny. Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. 138 of them, in fact! Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. Give it to me!" she yelled. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. !. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? "Daddy is surprised, Really? I went home with it and came back with it this morning. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Little johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. You need to hide, grandpa. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement. Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. 'Well, I just use their last name. But it was pretty funny. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back." "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. It's weird. Ooops! Santa responds back, "Okay. 5. ", Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. Yelled Billy. His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! An elderly woman came over and said, "Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!" Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. 64. I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? Son: "Thanks Dad!". "My grandpa lived to be 100!" ", Mother: "How was math today? "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Warning! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! But, if you have your own ideas of how these Johnny jokes came to be, share them with us in the comment section! ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Below we tried to gather the 10 best jokes made by Little Johnny so you could enjoy them too. ", "No, son. "He is not! Johnny groaned before standing. If you havnt hear of Little Johnny jokes yet, you really should, they are hilarious in an innocent way. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! The class answered with a roaring a cat! "Little Johnny: "Fred did! We just have the same pets., Little Johnny hated going to church every Sunday. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? She's hitting the bottle. "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. 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", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". Enjoy!About us. ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. However, we have an origin theory of our own. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". ", Teacher: "Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Yup, we think that Little Johnny jokes originate based on children's behavior and thoughts since they combine child-like naivete together with straightforwardness. 138 of them, in fact! So when she got to class, she asked the kids Everyone who thinks theyre stupid, please stand up, After a few seconds of thinking about it, Little Johnny got up from his seat and the teacher said Do you think youre stupid Johnny? The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. "Little Johnny: "I suspect it's around Hadrian's garden!". One prick and it is gone forever. Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . I don't own this..i found it funny that's why sharing here. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Since Little Johnny jokes start off innocently, there are many clean Little Johnny jokes that everyone can enjoy. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. The sphinx with the sour cream. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. "Little Johnny looks up to her and says "Well miss, you can't say that you weren't warned. Full name: John 2. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! cried Little Suzie. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A . "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. Well, is god in this weapon Im carrying? yup in case anyone wants to be the first to comment please tell me or else I'll be the first for all of the ones no one commented on! Thats right everyone said the teacher. Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Top 10 Best!. ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. The mail man dropped his bags and said Well, come give your dad a hug! And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. "No!" Jimmy replied. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? 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