She has her own issues in her past, like her parents divorcing when she was a young teen, and she is turning 40 this year. I worry that its too little too late. He eventually got a friend to beg on his behalf. Now, on top of it, you have fallen into depression. he is 24 and i am 32, he know about it but i cant help but feel that the age gap is too big. She said anytime she sees me she thinks of the woman I cheated with because she saw a picture of us on my phone from the messages she discovered. Thats good you are in therapy. i read where you say its called patient giving i understand what your saying and what needs to be done my only concern is how long should you keep trying patient giving before you realize its not going to work and your marriage is going to get back to going the right direction, ive been married for 6 years and off and on weve had issues but it hasnt been til the pat year that my husband has told me once he wanted a divorce but never went throught with it we patched thigns up we never seperated but about two weeks ago he sat me down and told me about the issue were having now and he said i am willing to give you one last chance and work on our marriage, but if it happenss again hes done now neither one of use has cheated its has nothing to do with that, he got very upset and angry at something i said, he has that right to be mad i understand but he tells me he wants to give me another chance but tells someone else he doesnt want to so i want to make my marriage work and prove to my husband its not him thats the problem it never has been he hasnt told me he doesnt love me anymore, so i am confused on how long should i try and mend the bond before i finally say i cant do this anymore and tell him ive tried to fix this issue but i cant do it anymore, i want to fix it but i just dont know how long i should before it starts to get better if it even does get better if you understand what i am asking. actually i tried talking to him but hes talking to me very and replying to me . Meanwhile during pregnancy I tried visiting her place but she prevented me that the landlady doesnt want anyone come over. Please help me, Give him some space ask him if he is happier around somebody else maybe he has love for his ex that he doesnt have for u but u have to ask to find out you are lucky that u have him around to talk with cuz the man I love doesnt even want to talk he just plain out says leave me alone dont talk to me. We hardly ever see it coming. He was my everything, the last time I felt anything similar was 20 years ago when I was 21. This makes sense: security is something that is not just behavior, but feelings about oneself at the core. This also bothers me. About 8 months ago I tried to commit suicide. Thank you for writing the article because it has given me a lot of hope and I long for the day when my wife and I have a solid supportive relationship again. Please see a therapist to unravel this. 14: Try going on a bike ride together So, here I am, still praying and hoping to find a way to help him open his heart and let me inbut it seems to be blocked by all the hurt and suffering and he does not believe he can love me again. All I would like is a chance to let him know I realise that. I dont get it. He used excessive guilt and said he would change. And then left for her girlfriends house. THIS WOMAN IS OF STRONG CHARACTER AND FREE AS A BIRD BUT I FEEL SOME HOW SHE PERCIEVES ME AS CAGED.. Or have I become so lost, jaded, tarnished and hurt that my mind will not allow me to feel truth. She chose counseling and says that she wants to try and work things out. Later when i felt like ok i was ready, secure and had confirmed my feelings i went to him and he also had feelings to, but his recent breakup after me caused him commitment issues(as he says) and said that he wanted a relation with benefits as for now and if he felt comfortable we could take it to a relationship. He watches porn all the time and masterbates up to 6 times a day. His birth father was never in the picture due to his instability and choice of partying and drugs over being a father. I also have put up barrel and I am a very strong lady that I know going through the process will hurt but, staying here is hurting more. Keeping your communication positive and clear and maintaining a positive outlook on life whenever possible can help keep your relationship happy. Im not sure what to do at this point. Hes falling out of love with me and Im trying so hard to comprehend this difficult fact seeing as I treat him wonderfully. But, as of these past few months I have had feelings of guilt because I feel I dont love him anymore. Were only 20 years old so weve got so much growing up to do and I recognize that now. If you're this miserable, it's time to end things. Despite the meds shes taking, reached orgasm for the first time since starting them. You have a heart and soul; everyone does. Thank you for reading all this, Hi, my ex and I dated for 2months, she was madly She never cursed me out. His wife tried to call me and I never pick up. And i really do love him with all my heart and soul. What assurances will he give you that he is mature enough to stand by you and work things out when marriage becomes stressful? Change your way. She knows and apologized a week later in May. I will only do so if he texts me first, and even then I keep my responses short and sweet. I just dont have it in me to cheat on him though because I cant bring myself to cause him that pain. I dont know what to do in these situations, because I usually bug her about why she is irritated usually to the point where she says she doesnt feel like dealing with this relationship anymore, How do I fix this and what can I do to get this relationship back to the spark that we used to have in the beginning ox the relationship. be im scared she might reject me, shes a beautiful, Im going to take a wild guess (since I dont know you) that you dont really love this guy. I was wrong not to tell my husband my friend was going with mebut others knew and had told him. It was wrong lying to him in the first place and I regret it. According to all known laws of aviation, Not Secure there is no way a bee should be able can talk And now you'll start talking! I ruined the best thing ever in my life. Me and my best friend have friends for almost 10 years weve had are ups and down but still remained best friend. S he dosent respond about anything serious anyway. When it comes up he says he doesnt know if he can forget what happenedthe hurt I caused him. A few hours later we left the workshop & came home. Rent it. 15 First Date Ideas We have been together now for almost a year and he has treated me like sh** the whole time! My boyfriend said he fell out of love im 6 months pregnant , the problem was that i treated him really bad and he was the best man in the worlddd he did everything and anything he could for me i was hia princess. I feel the same way. You'll move on. Otherwise you have to wait.I could not even answer this. My husband asked where his wheel trim was & Peter said its broken; got it out the trunk & showed my husband. Im sorry to read of your heartache. I feel like ive moved on and have met an incredible woman and i really care for her deeply. sometimes crying myself to sleep and asking what happen to us.everytime i face him, i would hear the words he say.sadness really overwhelms me. Always work on improving yourself and showing the other person you want them in your life rather than need them. I will do absolutely anything to earn her back. 2. work on your self esteem. I wish you the best of luck in your relationships. PostedMarch 27, 2018 If you go on the first visit with him (which is common practice for marriage & family therapists) and insist on no confidentiality restrictions, then you will be able to know if he shows up at his sessions and is making progress. Well I got pregnant and we got together to see if this would work. I would feel guilty every time I was talking about my interests because I knew he wasnt as in to them as I was, and I was probably boring him. I tried to tell him but now he says our break up has nothing to do with me. He gave me a right to go to Mpumalanga if I want to and I never really bothered as I trusted him. Trust cannot be mended by him saying he will never do the things he did again, especially when he has already been caught and it brought us to counseling. We dont get a long most of the time, we argue because he can discipline my kids but I cant even look at his the wrong way without it being a diaster. You deserved to be dumped. My response to that is: Okay, and what happens in 2 years when your dopamine goes down and the seratonin levels go up again? After all, once you know, you can work within these relationships to maximize your happiness and spiritual growth. Then texts 20mins later saying she is confused and doesnt know what she wants. Its a way of avoiding real life and feeling good in real life. Someone looking at our life from the outside would think we have it all; a beautiful family, two successful careers, a nice home and great friends. 3 years ago when we first began to get to know each other, he hurt me really bad. Her so much I cant take another. Hes a hard worker but unfortunately when stress comes into play he does not handle it very well and turns to heroin. But I did what I had to do in writing and verbally. Their messages are private. She just sent me bye, nothing more or less and started ignoring me. While this article confirmed a lot of what Id felt to be true, it still helped. I cant get over the fact that he took me for granted when I have been nothing but good to him and accepted him with and love his child, unlike his ex whom he wanted to marry but she treated him like crap. I have begun to change my routines, I am trying to bring the romance back, I am trying to change the way I think, and I have my first counseling session set up for this Friday. So he found some old messages from me and that other guy and he caught me in the lie. So I we shopped for all that. That is the only thing I have to hang into as a sign of hope and that isnt much. Then a job opportunity came up that was 7 hours north of our home. I have been working on me and myself becoming a better person being the Maria that I truly am. My husband stepped up behind her; spooned into her & hung his crossed arms across her shoulders leaving them hanging just above her breasts. he has however been going out to shopping malls etc and on meals with new found friends. she told me she wants to be friends and it was really hard to break up with me but she had to and a part of her still loves me but she doesnt feel the same, is it possible without seeing her or talking to her she will change her mind and come back to me? Man. All these need to heal. Of course, there is my book, The Healing Is Mutual. We now live in 2 different states, we chat online, skype and spend at least once a week on the phone for about 3-4 hours. He will never be able to love me again. reached a point that was the last straw and he was done. Now, after apologies and finally making a date to meet (we havent met yet by the way but I feel she is someone I always have wanted) and trying everything to make it right she CONTINUES TO SAY I DONT GET IT. She was the most amazing person to me. Hi IDK self wasnt with her, I felt bad for her cos im so hurt but yesterday she just told me she wasnt She tells me that she wants to stay with me but now she is in doubt on her feelings on the long term. Obviously we still have a deep connection and there is a reason that we are still trying, whatever that looks like right now. He thinks I always want to argue about little things. I truly do not want this and I want to love her the way she deserves to be loved, but it is sooooo hard to let go of the control and leave it up to what will be. It shocked me to the core and 6 months of thinking I dont love him anymore, has made me not want to be with him anymore. You can choose your house. She obviously has no time for me. I am not desperate I I used to be) but I want my children to have a complete family and we operate well togetherand there is Love, lots of love from my side I have been in constant change since the 5th of this month. she begged for almost 8 months but I was so focused on my ambition and career. Everything progressed nicely and I really liked him. I have developed a very intense course in all of this which will shorten the process, but the bottom line is that until you have gone through what I describe above, you havent really worked through these past issues. All these things represent a true change in a person. She keeps saying we are not a good fit, that I should go and find someone else. What I can say definitely is that if you learn mindfulness, it will be more powerful than medication to reduce your stress levels and depression. But now she doesnt know what she wants. My Significant Other and I have been in a 3 1/2 year relationship. Lying is a serious problem in relationships. If my daughter wants to watch three movies, and I want to watch one, we might end up watching two. He admitted to being shocked the first time it occurred yet on the second time he turned towards her to accept her kiss. Financial security is not enough to make you stay with someone your not in love with. Says for me to go back to those people I now call a family (my car club) he feels like my decision was about my club and the other issues were just excuses . We have 1 child together and we have another child who I consider my own because was only 6 months old when we started dating. I was very hurt and confused but after long talks we decided to stay together and move with his parents to a new state, thousands of miles away from my family. 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